Anon question: hello! I had a question. I’m white and have a hispanic boyfriend who never really identified with his race much. Maybe a few spanish words here and there but honestly I probably know more spanish than he does lol I noticed once we moved to another city hours away that is predomently Hispanic, hes kind of changed his behavior. Its almost like hes changed who he is to suit his surroundings. I understand that some of this might be a natural human behavior but its hurtful that he starts listening to diffrent music to attract people from around here and to get noticed by them. I know that he loves to get attention but I feel that he us changing himself and “acting” more hispanic than he is and is wanting the attention of the hispanic girls here more than anything. I can give a examole if you need. please tell me what you think. Its annoying and hurtful.
My answer: I would answer this privately but you’re on anon so I can’t. What exactly is “acting Hispanic?” It seems to me that you believe the stereotypes that are associated with being Hispanic which in no way shape or form is ok. I can’t speak about Hispanic experiences because I myself am not Hispanic. But it seems to me that he is identifying with people within is own race now and that is annoying and hurting you??? You might need to take a step back and ask yourself why you are so annoyed by this.
I guess I have a type.
People tease me because my last couple of boyfriends have been black. They claim I have a “type” or “fetish”. Maybe I do.
But who cares?
My boyfriend is beautiful. I love his dark skin. I could kiss his full lips for hours. His eyes are dark and sexy and his jaw masculine and square. I love the feel of his rough hands when they cup my face. His muscles ripple above me when we make love and there’s something beautiful about the contrast of our skin when we lay in bed tangled up together.
We come from completely different backgrounds but we balance each other beautifully.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t date a white man. Asian, Indian, whatever.
Love is love.
And I won’t be ashamed of mine.
Mixed in a Mixed Relationship
- I’m an Irish-Mexican American mix in my first noticeably interracial relationship with a beautiful Micronesian-African American mixed woman. People see me as some White guy and see her as that Black chic. We have been together for 4 months now, and we have seen and felt both the good and bad from others in regards to our interracial relationship. But to us, it doesn’t matter what other’s think or see. We are happy and in love, and that is what matters at the end of the day. Not that our skin tones don’t match.
So this white girl that I really like and I were seeing each other but we sort of ended it because we are going to college in different parts of the country. It was already a secret from our parents because it was a casual thing and neither of our parents support interracial relationships. Also my family just moved six hours away. I'm wondering if you think we did the right thing? We still like each other but I also want to date her in the future but don't know if she'll feel the same.
I can’t say whether what you two decided was right or not. If you did what you thought was best then you shouldn’t regret your decision.
Lovely People Who Follow ICC
Just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the lack of posts recently. As you guys know this is a blog that is practically run by you, I’m simply just the mod. With that being said I can’t post anything if no one submits anything. So just sending this friendly reminder that I don’t bite and that if you have any confessions, submissions, questions etc. don’t be afraid to send them in :)
I'm in college and I've never been in an interracial relationship. . I've started hanging out with this white guy, whose kind of geeky . We had amazing conversations, and amazing outings around campus, museums, lunch, dinner, phone, text, etc you name it. When I told him I liked him he only wanted to be friends. I know we had a strong connection. He gets me and I get him. Is he afraid of being in a relationship with me, or its the standard, "Idon'twannamessupthefriendship" thing?
One piece of advice I always give people whenever they are confused about someone’s feelings is ask them. You can assume as much as you want about what they’re feeling but you will never know for sure until they tell you themselves. Now with that aside I can say that I personally have had people turn down being in a relationship with me simply because they don’t want to be seen dating a Black girl (I’m not assuming I know your race, I’m just using my experience as an example). It can be hurtful at first but I quickly get over it. Anyone who is so afraid of what others will think that they will deny their feelings for you is not worth your time AT ALL. It shows that they believe that there is something wrong or negative about dating you and that’s just ridiculous. I’m not saying this is what’s going on in your case but you stated that you’ve never been in an interracial relationship and I’m just letting you know that this can happen. On the other hand it could be that he values your friendship, which is completely understandable. Like I said the best thing to do is just ask him directly.
Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that my life has been very busy lately and that’s the reason why I have not been able to post confessions and answer questions. I haven’t forgotten about you! As soon as get everything together I will resume posting. Thank you for sticking with me guys I greatly appreciate it!